Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
