y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
