The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize