I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
