Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
