accomplished twins. life is a go
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
