i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
