just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize