Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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