Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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