i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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