I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
