is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
