how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
