Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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