why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize