you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize