It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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