I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
