I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ttyl tear gas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
