Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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