there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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