When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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