Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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