I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
