And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
