the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
