This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
only you would photoshop your dick
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize