If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
