K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
