distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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