My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
