would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
