His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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