How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
false alarm. still invincible.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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