Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
