She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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