i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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