Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize