i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
