I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
