Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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