I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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