You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
