so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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