then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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