so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
