We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
