I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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