it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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