margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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