Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
