You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
