The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
