Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
