I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
