I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
