His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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