Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
