Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
