I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
