We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
