mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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