I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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