Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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