I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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