i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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