no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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