Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
