my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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