The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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