i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
