why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
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.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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